Even though I asked several times about how to pronounce his name, I’m sure I still butchered it the entire time we worked together. Luckily, he was gracious enough to answer to most anything that was even close. His name was Smilde, Berndnaut Smilde. He’s an affable Dutch fellow who just happens to make clouds – indoors. He was in San Francisco at the behest of Meg Shiffler, of the SF Arts Commission, to make some clouds – indoors. I repeated that because, as you can see, it’s quite remarkable. We met the day before to look over the room, talk about how we will proceed, and to try a few more variations on Berndnaut’s name. We were working in the Green Room of the Veterans Building near San Francisco’s Civic Center. The Green Room, I was told, is a replica of the Hall of Mirrors in Versailles. In the moment, I was impressed, not having been to Versailles. When I got home I looked it up. Let’s just say that if our beloved Green Room has any DNA in common with the Hall of Mirrors, it is only in the minds of the tour guides on the Duck Tours of the Bay. While the Green Room is quite lovely in it’s own right, the resemblance ends there. There was a mirror at each end, and it was indeed a Room, and it was in fact Green. Berndnaut was also gracious about that too. He’s probably been to Versailles, considering it’s only 275 miles from Amsterdam. The good news is that the people who manage the Green Room, unlike Versailles, are willing to have storm clouds made in our version.

The process goes something like this: After everything is is ready with the lights and camera, Berndnaut goes into action. He walks around the area where the cloud is to form in ritualistic fashion, and sprays a mist into the cold air. A machine spits out a burst of another mist and when the two mists mingle, voila – Cloud. I shoot for around 8 seconds until it begins to dissipate and turn into something that is not a cloud. We let the room clear and the process starts over again. During the room clearing phase, there is lots of talk about the merits of the previous cloud and how we might improve the next. Lots of concrete talk about the ephemeral nature of clouds. And so it went. More clouds, and more talk. A few more clouds and a little more talk. I must say here, that the image you see is what was really there. No fancy photoshop tricks – just makin’ pictures of clouds. In the end, the day goes by far too quickly. I don’t really want to stop. Turns out creating the weather is rather exhilarating.

It started out as a pretty normal call. “We’re doing an ad for the new FIAT 500 Abarth Cabrio and there’s a shot of the car and, oh yeah, another shot of a Topless Supermodel. Would you be interested?”, asked Andy Coulston, the art director from The Richards Group. Yeah I know, we’ve all heard that a million times, but I thought, “The FIAT is a pretty wicked little car, it might make a great shot – I hope the car is black” so I said “Sure Andy, I think we can do that.” And then Andy made it really interesting, “Oh yeah, we want a scorpion in the shot”. Excellent. “What, like on the steering wheel, driving the car, or on the dash, or hangin’ out across the Abarth scorpion logo?!” “All that would be cool” Andy said, “but I want it crawling on the Topless Supermodel’s hip?” “Sure, OK, that’ll work too – but no scorpion on the car?” I said. Andy replied with an understanding “Nope.”

When I show up on set, the car is already there – yes, black, and the Scorpion-Handler is also there. She had all kinds of scorpions in jars and little cages. Brown ones, black ones, and even an albino white one, all just chillin’, scorpion style. “What do they eat? Do they fight a lot? Can I hold one?” I had a million questions, but we had to get our shots. Catrinel, our Topless-Supermodel was in makeup when we discussed the shoot and introduced her to the Scorpion-Handler (from, appropriately enough, Reptile Rentals) who was holding a rather spunky scorpion. Catrinel didn’t seem warm and fuzzy toward her costar, but no matter, everything was ready. The lights were in place, Mitzi Spallas-Hair-and-Makeup person and Jen Pinkston-Stylist were at the ready and, of course, the sand was perfectly manicured. I showed Catrinel where she needed to be on the set and she nestled into place, just like she’d been to the beach before. Uncanny. Everyone’s eyes were riveted and I could hear the chatter from the crew. “Did you see how easily the top goes down?, Really nice rims, too. I understand she’s fast and sounds amazing.” I had to interrupt “Hey, I’m up here – working on this shot right now – leave the car alone. Focus! Focus!”

Cue the scorpion. Brown? Black? Stinger capped or bare? Decisions, decisions, decisions. We went with the black scorpion and uncapped stinger. Catrinel was not terribly amused at our choices (maybe she preferred brown scorpions over black) but the shots were looking just as we envisioned. Catrinel looking at the scorpion like a beloved cuddly pet, a “familiar” if you will, self satisfied with her command over the wicked little creature. We were shooting away, the scorpion was crawling around, whipping it’s tail everywhere as scorpions will. I felt like we already got our shot but wanted to make sure we were covered, so I kept shooting. Over time Catrinel, while very professional, seemed to be losing her “excitement”. In a number of the shots, that sense of calm and pet-like control of the scorpion just wasn’t there in her eyes. I mean, what’s up? It’s not everyday you get to play with a predatory arthropod. Awesome, right?

I asked our Scorpion-Handler if the glycerin we sprayed on Catrinel might be bothering the scorpion. She replied with a short “we’ll see”. Somehow that was not the answer Catrinel was looking for. I’m not sure if it was fear I was sensing, or maybe she was just getting bored. After all, just the day before, they shot the TV ad with the scorpion crawling up Catrinel-soon-to-be-Topless-Supermodel’s back (ya gotta see the ad…). I gave the Scorpion Handler a “whats’ up?” look and she said that “during the TV, Catrinel couldn’t actually see the scorpion because it was on her back. Now she has to watch it crawl all over her hip. Maybe that’s a problem?” Catrinel’s eye’s lit up as if to say “Bingo” (or whatever that is in Italian). So I asked her, “Are you having a problem with the scorpion today? Does it bother you to see the scorpion crawling on your bare hip?” She paused in that oh so Topless-Supermodel way and said, in quite clear English, “I don’t want to die.”

And that, my friends, would be a wrap.

Today, January 22, 2013 is the 40th anniversary of the Supreme Court decision we now know simply as Roe v. Wade. I was a freshman in college in 1973 and I remember the groundswell of cultural emotion the news inspired. I also remember, while it was a loud bell in the social structure of the time, it didn’t seem to last too long. Yes, it was seen as a major victory for the Women’s Movement, but that struggle was far from over. The Civil Rights movement was also well under way, and oh yeah, there was also a war going on.

Forty years later, fresh off a brutal election, there still seems to be a “War on Women”, and minority voting rights are once again (still) under attack. Now, even more than before, Roe V. Wade is one of the biggest lightning rods in our culture, and oh yeah, there is also a war going on. The more things change…

What has remained the same is the battles that were fought in the past are constantly being re-fought, and any victories are ephemeral. It seems if we want to hold the social high ground, we must keep each generation engaged in the causes we thought were settled.

About a month ago, I was contacted to participate in a project called “40” – 40 Faces. 40 Photographers. 40 Years of Choice, which serves to launch the “Choice Out Loud” campaign. The project launched today to mark the anniversary, 40 years on, of Roe v. Wade. The idea was simple, ask forty photographers to make images of forty women. The implications are much greater. These women represent the next wave of stakeholders in the struggle to keep the rights they already have. Within the diversity of their faces and images, they can remind and engage people that the fight for a woman’s right to choose what she does or doesn’t do with her body is up to her and her alone.

Please take a look at the website, consider the project and what it stands for. I am proud to be included. As for me, the years have made me realize that I have fewer and fewer absolutes in my viewpoints. This is one of them – absolutely.

I would like to thank Bunny Zlotnik, who was my gracious and willing subject, and Renee Rael who did the hair and make up. I don’t really know how they both felt about the larger subject of women’s rights, but I will say, when I asked them to participate, I didn’t have to ask them twice.

This is the trailer for the film. By the way, that’s my shot of Bunny in the opening sequence. To see the entire film go to “Choice Out Loud”

I’m being forced to write this blog. I don’t really want to do it, but there’s a key being held half an inch from my car door. So you can see the position I’m in. I keep saying, “But I’m a photographer, no one cares what I think”. I know, I know, it’s the the hot “new media” way to connect with people – as if Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, DeviantArt, WaterBored (I made that last one up) weren’t already enough. For the most part, all those sites don’t really require much attention – and I’m good with that – you know… A click here, a click there, pictures of people’s breakfast, pictures of people’s moms – kinda fun really.  But blogs… Blogs seem to require a lot of time and attention. Someone has to actually write them, in the hopes that someone else actually reads them. Then there’s the content.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of great blogs out in the “blogoshpere”, but it’s a bit like fishing. Getting the fish isn’t hard, finding where they swim, is. I tried Googling “blogs that I’d like” and got “About 803,000,000 results (0.17seconds)” but for some reason, nothing. Siri was even more disappointing. I did track down a few on my own but found reading them, while fascinating, was less than productive. I mean, do I really need to know the nutritional value of certain insects? (Caterpillars, by the way, have 28 grams of protein, and Dung Beetles pack a whopping 31mg of calcium and only .2 carbs!)  Or, that April 30th is both National Hairstyle Appreciation Day and National Honesty day. (“Does this haircut make my butt look big?” – see the dilemma?) Seriously, do I care about the correct temperature for incubating duck eggs (99.5 degrees for the first 25 days and 98.5 degrees after that)? That’s right, all that crap from blogs.

I suppose you’re wondering two things about now. One: Why am I still reading this? and Two: Why is he still writing this?

The truth is simple. Marianne made me do it (now get that key away from my car). Seriously, my agent, Marianne Campbell told me I had to do this. She told me in no uncertain terms, “You need to write a blog.”  She said, “Write about your work, post some pictures… Really, people will read it – they’re interested – trust me!” She’s been after me for a year now to sit down and “blog”, telling everyone on her blog it was “coming soon”. So, here goes. I’ll post some pictures. I’ll write some stuff about some stuff (and sometimes about the pictures). I’ll probably lie a lot (except on April 30 – all truth, all day long). I’m sure to offend some people, but hey, I’m bloggin’. And if I actually do offend anyone, Marianne’s number is 415-433-0353. Call late at night.

Here’s a shot of my Mom. She’s looking at a picture she just took of her breakfast. That’s right, a protein-packed caterpillar omelet (organic, of course).

That number again is 415-433-0353.